Amazon: Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen Reviews

Worked fine with my right hand, but when I came to use my left hand my writing came out looking like the work of a complete imbecile. I can only assume Bic have created a right-handed only pen, and would caution left-handers to "try before you buy".
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I am slightly offended as to why pens have to be specified as a masculine object. Please, consider introducing a range of titpoint or fannypoint pens as soon as possible.
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Crystal? It's not made of crystal at all! I bought this 'Crystal' ballpoint in good faith, only upon receipt did I begin to suspect the description is misleading! I've had this so-called 'crystal' pen sent away for analysis (at a cost of £700.00 which I think is extremely good value for money) only to find it's made of some petroleum-based semi-synthetic extruded polymer of high molecular weight...I think the lab called it 'plastic' in their summary 348 page report.
I'm disappointed in the highly misleading product description and think this product should be banned for legal reasons.
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Following the complete lack of warnings not to give this to children under 6 months, I have given it to my son Dwayne-Wayne as a teething comforter. OK, so sucking the ink through the small hole in the side may have given him black gums and teeth, but then he would be getting those by age 5 anyway once he starts his 40-a-day habit and subsists on drafts of Poca Pola (or something like that). I would, however, criticise the strength of the plastic - the top passed through the gut harmlessly, but the clear body has broken into shards and his mother, Kylie-Tropicana, is complaining that she is cutting her fingers every time she changes his non-biodegradable plastic poop collectors and chucks them in the back garden for the rats. We were wondering....can we take out the actual inky bit so Dwayne-Wayne could use it to slurp his Sunny Delight through?
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